Some Nights Ago, Mulan and a Mammoth

Mulan, who looked like Russian Nesting Doll, had just take command of some kind of intergalactic war. She sent me to retrieve her most trusted ally. He was a mammoth who was on holiday in the Bahamas. He had recently shaved off all his hair. Our journey was going to take us through some cold climates, he needed a coat! Luckily, a near by airport had just acquired a stuffed mammoth. Perfect! We broke into the airport, smashing glass and running pass screaming travelers and panicked security guards. I tried to reassure them that we were not terrorists. I was very firm that they understood we had no connection to any kind of terrorist group. Once we ripped off the coat of the stuffed mammoth, we were on our way. But right before I left I gave a newly acquired dress to the security head, hoping this would make her feel better about the whole situation. The mammoth, and I on his back, were off in the Alaska wilderness!

Last Night, somewhere in the Soveit Union

The Soviet Union secret police were in my house. I was a reporter from Georgia ( the country ) and we had to walk to their headquarters over all this snow. I could tell they were suspicious of me. When it seemed like I was in the clear, something dropped out of my backpack, a pair of snow goggles. The leader didn't believe me when I said I didn't realize I had packed them. He kept asking why would I need snow goggles. He and his men ordered me pack to my house. I got their first, realizing they would use any excuse to kill me, I tried to make sure there was nothing out of the usual. But I did have a draw full of money. Then there was a women. It was her money, she had made it from stripping. We knew they could use this against us...make up some story. The men arrived and found the money. I thought about hiding it behind my mirror, but realized hiding something would seem like I was guilty of something. The men didn't believe her about how she had made the money. The leader kept screaming about conspiring against the state. He pulled out his gun and was shouting at her. I thought about escaping, all their attention was on her. But I couldn't. He was about to shoot her and I had to make a move. I tackled him to the floor, all his men were screaming but his second in command seemed to take control. He picked up up and ordered everyone out, including the leader. Apparently we were safe.

Two nights ago, elephants and Mariah Carey

So my friend and I were on some kind of safari. But we were separated from the group. Possibly a lion attack. Anyways, we find this ancient water system, and we decide to take it. We are in what appears to be an aqueduct. When we turn the corner, the pathway is filled with elephants! They are filling their bellies with water. Will they think we are predators? We proceed with caution. As we make our way through the crowd, the elephants get bigger and bigger. Soon we realize that one wrong move will mean our death! And then, we make a wrong move. The elephants start stamping their feet and screaming with rage. We have to run through the stampede. Finally, we crawl out, exhausted, filthy and bleeding. We haven't eaten or drank anything for two days. We stumble through the forest and then, there is a large mansion, overgrown with plants and moss. Inside is a group of potters. Master potters. They are silent. Apparently, they took a vow of silence. We try to explain our situation, but they don't speak English. And then suddenly, the cramped potters studio turns into a mall.

Mariah Carey is there with a group of women. I refuse to do something and she threatens to go to the top and have me killed. I don't really care about Mariah Carey.

Two nights ago, a road and a river

I was skate boarding in some European city, perhaps Paris. But the guys I was with left me behind. That's when the road, all the traffic turned into a giant lazy river underground. This was the main source of transportation. I was with my brothers, and I was desperately trying to keep up with them. At one point I pooped a belt and was concerned that I had some terrible health problem, but my brother's consoled me and told me everyone poops a belt sometimes. And then I was in a study, with rich wood. There were a students surrounding a table, with an old man, with a funny beard and a black Edwardian suite on. We were all looking down, and before us was a road. But the road appeared to be not solid, it was changing, changing into a river. And he said, " For those who see a road, they will see a road, for those who see a river, they will see a river" I wanted to jump in, and feel the cold water, I remember feeling, I want this road to be a river.

Last night, the holy grail

Looking at cute over-load, there was a picture of a snake, and then it hit me! Last night, I discovered the holy grail along with other Christian relics and treasures. But they were all filled with dead snakes and lizards. I was speaking to my Native American friend at a swim meet when I was hit with this overwhelming feeling of dread. Horrible horrible dread. I went to check on the treasure to discover that some of snakes were coming to life. I was staring at one and its eyes slowly opened. It was absolutely terrifying. I realized that I had to get rid of it, that some power was awaken, and that it would only lead to destruction. But I had to hide, I couldn't give it to someone else because I feared what they would do with this awesome power. But where to hide it? If I buried in my backyard, years later, developers would fine it. If I went to a construction site and threw it in the cement, years later again, new contractors having demolished the building would find it. Where could I bury this terrible discovery?

Last night, a murder and then Obama

So my brother, along with two other guys, wanted to get this experimental surgery. They wanted to be able to get cybernetic parts implanted into their body to enhance their mental and physical powers. I thought that the doctor was...off. Something wasn't right about this whole situation. I tried to get my brother to leave, but he was insistent about the surgery. He was going to go third. When the first patient was hooked up to all the necessary equipment and IVs, something horrible started to  happen. I never saw the patient, but all I could see was that the IVs started to either melt or dry up and turn to dust and then the patient just started to scream. Soon, the doctor was out the back down, running. He had taken every one's money and killed a man. I had to make a decision. I decided to follow. I ran after him, but I wasn't the only one who was tracking this murdering scum bag. Rorschach and an Chinese cop were on his tail. All I had was a pen for a weapon, I was so angry at this man, this man who took lives and could have killed my brother, I just wanted to stab him. I was chasing him down fire escapes when Rorschach came from no where to cut off his escape. And then the cop managed to get this syringe away from the doctor, I thought for sure she was going to inject him and kill him, but she just knocked him out. But then it was just me and my brother with this body, and he kept waking up, trying to kill us and escape, and we kept having to knock him out, and finally we were like, maybe we should call the police?

And then I was at an all you can eat buffet with President Obama. All I wanted to do was smell him for some reason. My friend simply wanted to touch him.  There was a huge crowd, and the man simply wanted to get some dinner, but people were treating him like he was Jesus or something. 

Last night, snippets

Some of the things I remember from last night.

- Having a fever of 118 degrees and thinking, OH GOD!

- Having my high school history teacher over for dinner and not wearing pants.

- driving my car up a huge hill and then having its engine explode!

-watching the guy from Will and Grace be made fun of on TV for speaking Spanish poorly and saying he had a fever of 195, instead of 105.

- Being a beautiful Latina woman who was trying to escape her drug pin abusive boyfriend in order to run off with a spy ( Michael from Burn Notice) and to become a secret witness for the State.

- Being in log cabin that was an assisted living facility and realizing that some of the residents were actually demons, harmless demons, but demons nonetheless.

-Watching an alternative version of Sense and Sensibility staring Kate Winslet.